a Bear Holding Bombs. Stay with me here.
Just the other day, Raul asked:
I request a drawing of Wojtek the Polish soldier bear.
Now, I’m not going to pretend that I knew the story of Wojtek the Brave Polish Soldier Bear before Raul requested the Fastest Possible Drawing of him, but I’ll digest it for you in the fastest possible way:
In World War II, Iranian kid finds bear cub, sells it to the Polish Army. Bear hangs out with soldiers, drinks beer and smokes, follows Polish Army through Middle East. Bear is actually officially drafted into Polish Army, carries ammunition for same. Bear carrying artillery becomes logo of 22nd Transport Company. After war, for some reason, Bear retires to Scotland, smokes away the rest of his days, dies at 22.
For your reference, the aforementioned logo:
Figuring that Laurea was no better informed about Wojtek the Smoking, Drinking, War Bear than I (David) was, it fell to me to translate the task of drawing him into something more direct, thereby ensuring that such a drawing would be the Fastest Possible. So, “Fastest Possible Bear Holding Bombs” was the text on the card I put in front of my wife two nights ago.
Laurea has asked me to include her comment on this drawing, which took 26.3 seconds to complete:
This is the most perplexing Fastest Possible I have ever drawn. That is why it took so long.
Without any reference to the story, Laurea has chosen to draw a Teddy Bear holding a Grenade. To be sure, Wojtek was no Teddy Bear, but this bear has gone one better. Rather than simply carrying an artillery shell from a tent to a truck, this guy is running headlong into war.
The Fastest Possible Wojtek confronts his enemies fearlessly, the pin on his grenade long-since pulled, screaming and waving his arms with raw fury. He also has a very cute button nose and is not smoking.
All told, I think Laurea’s Fastest Possible Wojtek the Polish Soldier Bear is a worthy companion to his historic namesake. I leave it to his many historians, and to Raul, to decide if this drawing truly honors his memory. Regardless, it is simply as Fast as we could make it.
Remember that you, too, can request a Fastest Possible Drawing. While there is no shortage of Things remaining for which Fastest Possible Drawings are due, we are running out of Ferris-Wheel-level concepts, and welcome reminders and recommendations. A caveat: not all answers will be quite as cute or ferocious as Wojtek here.
Until next time, Za naszą i waszą wolność!
